Monday, August 25, 2008

Hardest Thing To Do

I'm a worrier. I work through every single possibility that might happen in a given circumstance, and dread each wrong turn, each mis-step. I know by now that in the vast majority of cases, the things I imagine don't happen, and that real life isn't nearly as terrifying as the things I have cooked up in my head, but I still can't help trying to anticipate everything that happens.

I noticed this weekend that I try to do that on the dance floor, too. As the female, it's my job to remain expectant yet responsive. I never know which way the man will spin me or turn me on the floor, so I must be ready to move in any direction at any time. However, my thinking self, which pretty much always rules the roost, starts taking over and anticipating what will happen. This usually leaves me off-balance for what actually does happen; unprepared and ungraceful in transition. When I manage to clobber my racing mind into submission and just be in the moment, I am one with my partner, one with the dance, one with life.

Isn't this a precept of Zen Buddhism, too? To let go of expectations and flow from moment to moment. It sounds so easy; yet for me, it's the hardest thing to do.


Velda said...

I completely understand where you're coming from. I've always been one to 'need to know in advance' -- 'must know now' -- I am not one for surprises, it totally throws me out of whack...I don't like not knowing what's coming next. I chalk it up to my star sign (if you believe in those things) Many virgos are the same...of course you're not a virgo, but I *do* understand! ((hugs)) If you want to talk you know where to find me

XUP said...

Confucious said: He who foresees calamities suffers them twice over. I always say:
1. What's the absolute worst that can happen?
2. What are the real chances of that worst thing actually happening?
3. What can you do if it does happen?

Aline said...

I think and think and think like a hamster in a wheel. It does feel good to let go...after a glass of red wine. cheers!

AlisonH said...

Okay, just watch me try to dance sometime (post-car-accident) and I guarantee you that after you manage to catch your breath again from all the laughing--I do heartily believe in Rolling On The Floor Laughing, and that that's a great way to set it off--you'll never have to worry about it again. It's for enjoying, however it goes.

Five Ferns Fibreholic said...

Sounds like those dance lessons are exactly where you need to be.