Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Philosophy of Loss

A dear friend, persistent commenter, and in fact the reason that this whole blog even exists has just been handed a death sentence: lung cancer, with multiple mets to the brain.

Although we're a part of each others' daily online lives on Facebook and through our blogs, we've only seen each other twice in the three years since we moved to Ottawa from Kingston. That's actually an improvement... when we were in Kingston, we really didn't know each other at all, just *of* each other; my husband being the common link. (She was his daughters' day-care provider for many years.) It doesn't matter, though. We've found that face-time is nice but the lack of it doesn't stunt a friendship from growing.

And now, she's been given 4-12 months to live, and I can't think of much else these days. It feels so unfair... she's so young, so big-hearted, and beloved of so many. I suppose it's a reminder that it's all so very random. I am so sorry, Miss V.

Whatever has happened to anyone else
Could happen to you & to me
And the end of my youth was the possible truth
That it all happens randomly.

~Indigo Girls, The Philosophy of Loss


~Tammy said...

I understand the thoughts of V, all the time. I'm the same way. I've been waking up crying while I'm sleeping.

If you need anything, you know where to find me.


raino said...

hi. sorry about this sad news. take care.

kate said...

What do I say to comfort you, my friend. My heart goes out to all of you.

AlisonH said...

Oh, I'm so sorry!

I will add, you never know. Nobody can put a time limit on things. My sister-in-law was told on her 40th birthday that she had a form of lymphoma that had never been cured, had only ever had three cases of remission, that hers had metastasized, and to put her affairs in order.

She totally defied that. She lived eight years, during which she got to see her kids grow up and one of her children get married to the best wife she could ever have wished for for him.

Velda said...

:) thank you susan. Alison, I want to be like your sister when I grow up :) I have a 6 year old...I can't even fathom her being without me or me without her...

AlisonH said...

If I may offer the suggestion, Rachel Remen's books, "Kitchen Table Wisdom" and "My Grandfather's Blessings" did much to see me through my own journey with illness: 19 years with lupus that tried to kill me from the get-go, ten with Crohn's. Doing better now than I was at the beginning.