Thursday, September 13, 2007

Self-Confessed Fiber Snob

I knit at work... well, just at lunch, to be more precise. I want to knit all the other hours in the day, but that one hour is mine to do what I will with. I eat early so I have free hands for the needles, and I sit in a common area of the shop, and endure the stupid comments of the (usually) men that see me.
Now, I love me a bit of conflict. I love the juxtaposition of my colourful yarn, my tiny needles, and my "girlie" past-time against my CADPAT uniform and black combat boots. I knit, I enjoy it, and I tacitly dare people to say something stupid. Go ahead. I'm waiting for you.
Generally, they know when to keep their mouths shut. I have a certain reputation for being a bit intimidating, attitude wise, and they just know not to mess with me. (There was the fellow who asked me if I was knitting socks, when I had 4 feet of the Scarf That Never Ends pooled on the floor at my feet. Okay, bonus points to him for even thinking socks, but... dude, look at what I'm doing before you say something totally retarded.)

However, I recently got smacked down from an unexpected quarter. There's a new female in the section. She's seen me knitting a time or two and has stopped to chat. She, too, is a knitter. She watched me for a couple of moments, working on the Plain Wintery socks with 2.5mm needles, and said...

"You knit slow!"

I'm a big girl. And, as a new knitter, I am perfectly willing to acknowledge that this indeed may be the case. However, I was completely flummoxed by what happened next. She wanted to demonstrate twisted rib, so I surrendered the yarn and needles. After some fumbling, she knotted up the yarn a little... squinted at the mess, and said "The yarn is so fine I can't even feel it!" and handed the needles back to me.

I am wondering now if she would recant her declaration that I knit slowly, considering she couldn't even feel the yarn and needles.

She told me later that she buys her yarn at Sears. I think no further explanation is necessary.

Bulky acrylic yarn knits up real fast.

(Yes, I am a fiber snob. Is it showing?)


~Velda said...

lol thanks for the giggle, altho I likely would have strangled that girl with my lovely yarn.....intimidating? you? no way...I think you're one of the most interesting and knowledgeable people I know, people are missing out if they don't know that --- great way to start my morning, thank you :)

Kate said...

The fiber snob part is just fine with me, but I want to know are you wearing the woodland, arid region or out-dated olive green CADPAT uniform?? That must be quite a sight, you just a knitting away in the corner!! Too funny!!!!

And Velda is quite correct - you are very interesting and intelligent to boot and just darn nice to be around!! That lovely smile will be the last thing they remember when you wind that gorgeous sock yarn around their scrawny necks!!!!

Knit on, my friend, knit on....

Susan said...

You two make me sound like a secret sock ninja. If my needles don't get you, my sock yarn garotte will... :)

~Tammy said...

I love it! I, too am a snob. I'll not get into my snobbery, but suffice it to say, in some ways we're a bit alike. Hmmmmph, slow stitcher! If you do gift exchange over the holidays you should give her a gift card to Sears! Oh my, that was snobby of me, wasn't it?